What You Love About Me

I had my girlie exam today. Yay for womanhood! You know, where they open you up with a speculum and then scrape the inside of your uterus. Ah, good times. And since I love sharing personal information with friends and strangers alike, I'm going to share the details of my exam. Now, I go to Planned Parenthood since I don't have health insurance so the deed is actually performed by a nurse practitioner. Her name was Sheryl. She was very pleasant and amicable. As she was doing the breast exam she asked what I did for a living. So as I was laying there with my arm above my head I told her how I had just recently gotten my teaching certificate but didn't have a full-time job so I'm currently subbing. She responded by continuing to knead my breasts but she looked very excited. I've seen people look excited before when viewing my boobs but usually it's cause they're so velvety soft and luscious not cause I just said I got my teaching certificate. When it came to the speculum part she kept having to adjust the thing and it didn't hurt but it wasn't exactly pleasant. Finally she got it and she goes, "Sorry about that. You have a long vagina." How does one respond to that? I thought about cracking a joke and going, "Ha! That's what my last boyfriend said too!" Or being serious and contemplative and saying, "I've always suspected as much." I settled for a simple, "Ah." Anyhoo, that was my exam. Now I have more birth control so I can go out and have wild sex with abandon! (joking, guys. don't start calling me)

Now I'm off to vote. I always think it's beneficial to have your uterus scraped before choosing which candidate to vote for.