Power Crazy

At about 8:30pm tonight my power went out. It hadn't been stormy or windy or anything. Just REALLY frickin' hot and I had actually turned on the air in my apartment which I don't usually do cause of the high electricity bill I later receive. Anywho, it just goes out. The power, that is. No flickering, no weather related incident or downed power line that I can see. So I wait 40 minutes and then call DTE to see when I will have power again. I spoke with Jose. Here's how our conversation went:

Jose:Thank you for calling DTE Consumer Energy. This is Jose, how may I help you?
Wixom Vixen: Hi, my power is out and I was wondering if you could tell me when it'll be restored?
J: Okay, what time did you lose power?
WV: It was around 8:3o, I think. About 45 minutes ago, I'd say.
J: Did the lights flicker at all or did it just go out suddenly?
WV: There was no flickering at all. It was fine and then it was gone.
J: Okay, there are some crews working in certain areas and you might be one of the areas. Did your power go out earlier today? You probably don't know cause you were probably at work.
(I don't know how Jose knows my work schedule but whatever)
WV: Actually, I think it did go out while I was at work cause all my clocks were flashing when I got home.
J: (in a really sympathetic voice, like he's about to deliver bad news) Oooooohh, yeah, you're one of those areas then. What the crews are doing is they're cutting power to areas for a few hours to maybe fix somthing and then they restore it and then they cut it again after an hour or so and it's out for another few hours. They'll be doing that throughout the night. (almost as an afterthought) Sorry for the inconvenience.
WV: Umm, okay then.
J: Is there anything else I can help you with?
WV: (biting her tongue) No, that's it. Thanks.
(end conversation)

WTF?! Cutting off people's power every hour or so for a few hours? So I think I'll pen a letter to fabulous DTE and it'll be something like this:'

Dear DTE,

I'm writing about the recent power outages in my area. That was really excellent planning on your part. It seems really efficient to cut people's power around 8:30 pm to do "work" and "fix stuff". I'd also like to thank you for notifying us of these power outages that you were planning so we were prepared. Oh wait, that's right. YOU DIDN'T NOTIFY US YOU FUCKING MORONS! As Red Foreman would say, "You'll be wearing your ass as a hat when I get my hands on you."

Idiots. So I was sitting in my stifling apartment and I started to think about the stuff in my fridge. I figured most of it would be okay but I didn't want to risk the Havarti Dill cheese going bad so I ate the whole thing. And then I was thinking how good it was that I didn't have beer in the fridge to worry about. And that got me to thinking that maybe I would be a little less irritated if I had some beer to drink so I went to Meijer's to pick some up. I also bought a flashlight. When I got home I realized that I would have to drink all the beer if the power didn't come back on or it would skunk. Then I was happy that I had opted for the 6-pack and not the 12-case. So for the next hour or so I drank beer and melted from the heat and made shadow animals on the wall with my flashlight.

Oh, and I totally went past my 1200 calorie daily limit with the cheese and beer but I think I might have sweated it out. My apartment has the worst air circulation ever. Actually, I don't think my apartment even has circulation.

Stupid DTE. I still call it Pine Knob, so HA! Put that in your pipe and smoke it.