Holidays Suck

Christmas was terrible yesterday. Well, it was great when it was just my mother and I at home but then I had to go to the Family Gathering. Sarah was still in her pajamas. It was 3pm and everyone else was dressed. My brain couldn't process it. It was an anomaly. I think that's the right word. Anyways I was trying to convince her and others that she needed to be dressed so that things would conform but to no avail. It made me twitchy and bitchy having only Sarah in pajamas. I started drinking a lot of wine to dull the voices in my head that kept pointing out that Sarah wasn't dressed but the wine didn't seem to help. Joy told me to stop acting like a 3 year-old and start acting like a 30 year-old. So I told her to start acting like a normal stepmother instead of an evil stepmother. Then someone else said I was jealous cause I wanted to be in my pajamas but that wasn't it at all. I wanted everyone to be the same. Everyone needed to be the same. Why couldn't she just get dressed? I like how Sarah can act like a raging miscreant and her mother excuses her because of her ADHD but when my mental illness rears its ugly head it's just me being immature. I hated Christmas 2006 and this is why I hate holidays. When I got home I wrote "Get Dressed" on lots of post-it notes and stuck them all over the house. It was the worst Christmas I've ever had.