Evil Reincarnate

I don't know what to write in here anymore. If I vent my feelings then I'm a bitch. If I lament my lot in life then I'm wallowing in self-pity. And from the scoldings I've taken, these seem to be atroicious traits. So, I am now warning you that I am about to wallow in self-pity so if that is displeasing to you then you should stop reading this. I'm so miserable with my life right now that I can't stand it. I used to think that "crying yourself to sleep" was just a random expression but now I understand it. I cry every night. What really makes me cry is that Spanglish commerical were Adam Sandler's daughter knocks on his door and she's crying and he says, "What's wrong, Sweetie?" and hugs her. Right now I'm watching Spiderman 2 and it's the part where Mary Jane is yelling at Peter Parker (spiderman) for not coming to her play when she has no idea what's going on with him. It made me think of myself and how nobody knows what goes on with me day to day but on those occasions when they do see me or talk me, they feel it's necessary to tell me what a horrible, selfish, cruel, and inhuman person I am. I don't understand the point of the this whole "living" thing but I don't like it very much right now.