Head Covering is Lost Forever
So, I haven't been able to find my new cat hat that I got for Christmas the last few days. I've been very annoyed cause it's frickin' freezing out and I've had to wear my old hat that I'm not particularly fond of. I just ended that sentence with a prepostion. Shit. Back on point..I haven't had this cool new hat to wear and I've been trying to figure out where I left it. And then today as I drive into my apartment complex and park, I see my hat on top of the fire hydrant in front of my building. And of course I'm wary as I approach cause I'm wary of everything these days and I gingerly touch it with one finger and it's all stiff from the cold and has dirt and stuff on it. Then I start thinking that it could have anything on it, like jizz. So, I had to leave it cause otherwise I would be wearing a jizz-hat. Phooey.
posted by Jessica B. @ 2:44 PM
4 Comments:
At 1/18/2005 5:50 PM,
Anonymous said…
You could have washed it. I think it's funny to think of it on a fire hydrant. You should take a picture. I really don't think anyone would have epiphanied on that creepy...erm, lovely hat.
I wish more people would remember the favorite saying of Benjamin Franklin, "Don't jerk off on the creepy kitty hat. Or I'll spank you." It's not the Benjamin Franklin you're thinking of, it's the other one.
At 1/18/2005 6:54 PM,
The Judge said…
This made me laugh out loud. I'm sad that your hat fell victim to spooge and dirt.
Beckie
At 1/18/2005 9:26 PM,
Anonymous said…
The evidence of man juice is unsubstantiated.
You could have used the laundry to remove the alleged man juice therefrom.
In any case, sucks to have a theretofore wearable hat and now the lack thereof.
No sense I make. Ah!
- Dan
At 1/21/2005 12:25 PM,
Michelle said…
Oh-no! the Wixom Vixen's hat has been defiled! You should use Tide. I saw this commercial where the dancing boogies where on this sock and there was a disco light and tide made them go away. I'm sure tide can care for your hat, so it can be de-jizzed!
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