Hot Rod
The phone rang a little bit ago. When I looked at the caller id it said, "Kemp, Klein, Ump" which is my dad's law firm. Well, it's actually Kemp, Klein, Umphrey, Endelman, & May but that doesn't fit on the caller id screen. Instead of summarizing the conversation I'm just going to provide you with the transcript with notes at certain points.
Joeboo: Jessica, it's your father, Joe (last name). Is your mother around?
(this was at around 11:30 and he knows that my mother works so it was very odd that he was looking for her at home)
Wixom Vixen: Umm, no. I'm pretty sure she's at work.
Joeboo: Okay, I was trying to call AAA this morning and accidentally called her and then she had called my office looking for me.
Wixom Vixen: Oh.
Joeboo: If you talk to her tell that I'm okay. My car caught on fire but it's at the dealership and I've got another car.
Wixom Vixen: Holy Shit! Your car caught on fire?! How did that happen?
Joeboo: Well, basically you shouldn't play with your crack pipe while driving. That's the lesson to be learned.
WV: I'll remember that the next time I'm tempted to smoke crack.
J: They don't know right now what it was, it might be a broken power steering line.
WV: Aw man, dad. Your new car.
J: I know! The car with less that 2500 miles. (sad sigh)
WV: Wow. Bummer.
J: Anyways, I have to get back to work. Just tell your mother that I'm okay if you talk to her.
WV: Will do. Bye.
J: Bye.
On Saturday my father wiped out while riding his bike and it was in front of a house with all this construction so he fell on gravel. He had big ugly-looking cuts and scrapes all over his right arm and leg yesterday at Family Dinner. The guy seems to be having a bad week. But at least he can still make jokes about smoking crack.
Joeboo: Jessica, it's your father, Joe (last name). Is your mother around?
(this was at around 11:30 and he knows that my mother works so it was very odd that he was looking for her at home)
Wixom Vixen: Umm, no. I'm pretty sure she's at work.
Joeboo: Okay, I was trying to call AAA this morning and accidentally called her and then she had called my office looking for me.
Wixom Vixen: Oh.
Joeboo: If you talk to her tell that I'm okay. My car caught on fire but it's at the dealership and I've got another car.
Wixom Vixen: Holy Shit! Your car caught on fire?! How did that happen?
Joeboo: Well, basically you shouldn't play with your crack pipe while driving. That's the lesson to be learned.
WV: I'll remember that the next time I'm tempted to smoke crack.
J: They don't know right now what it was, it might be a broken power steering line.
WV: Aw man, dad. Your new car.
J: I know! The car with less that 2500 miles. (sad sigh)
WV: Wow. Bummer.
J: Anyways, I have to get back to work. Just tell your mother that I'm okay if you talk to her.
WV: Will do. Bye.
J: Bye.
On Saturday my father wiped out while riding his bike and it was in front of a house with all this construction so he fell on gravel. He had big ugly-looking cuts and scrapes all over his right arm and leg yesterday at Family Dinner. The guy seems to be having a bad week. But at least he can still make jokes about smoking crack.
posted by Jessica B. @ 9:21 AM
6 Comments:
At 6/19/2006 10:14 AM,
Unknown said…
I think your dad is hee-larious. I can only hope for him to someday be my father-in-law. I'm kidding! I still have 10 years until Sarah's old enough. Ha... ok maybe this is going to far to be funny anymore. Still, that sucks about Joeboo's car.
At 6/19/2006 3:25 PM,
Jessica B. said…
That comment made me laugh out loud.
At 6/20/2006 9:18 AM,
Unknown said…
Since we're being technical, isn't is just called Kemp Klein now?
Small world, indeed.
At 6/20/2006 10:28 AM,
Jessica B. said…
Tess: Craziness! I'll have to mention that to my father.
Cy: It could be. You're probably right, being an actual lawyer and all. I just like to say all the names.
At 6/20/2006 10:56 AM,
Unknown said…
Austin's friend Kevin said something about how most law firms are changing their names so they're only 2 names... something about those big letters being really expensive to put on the side of the building every time there's a new partner...
At 6/22/2006 10:33 AM,
Pointedly Anonymous said…
I'm totally digging that your father introduced himself with his full name. As if you didn't know your own father. "Uh, hello. I know your name, Dad."
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