Raffi never does this

The comic strip Get Fuzzy has been fabulous this past week. Bucky keeps doing the "I'm watching you" motion with his cute little paw and it's hilarious! I love Bucky Katt.

Birthday Weekend part II, Fashionably Late in True Wixom Vixen Style

My good friend Ryan pointed out that I never finished telling about my birthday weekend and I always oblige my good friend Ryan. Where did I leave off?

Ah yes, Buttercup did not love Prince Humperdink, the only joy she got was in her daily rides. Oops, that's The Princess Bride and not The Birthday Princess. My apologies. Saturday night, which was November 11 the day before my actual birthday, I went out with Jackie, Sarah, Beckie, and Jackie's cousin whose name escapes me at the moment. Mark? Scott? Liam? Anyhoo, we went to some place in Dearborn. Well, first we met Beckie at Tess' place in Southgate cause she was dogsitting there. There was no ice at Tess' place. Sarah and I searched and searched for ice to no avail. We concluded that Tess doesn't believe in ice which was upsetting to Sarah and I cause we love ice. We love it in the morning. We love it in the evening. We love it all the day long. The club/bar we went to was decent. The gals paid for me to get in and bought me some drinks. We got food afterwards and I didn't get home till 4am. I had to teach Sunday School the next morning and I was not a pleasant person when that alarm went off. I kept muttering to myself, "I'm too old for this shit."

Later on that day of Sunday, November 12 (my actual birthday) we had the usual Family Dinner but it was all about me. Joeboo cooked steak and made cheesy potatoes cause I love them so. Then we had birthday cake for dessert. After I blew out the candles my little sister plucked them out of the cake and started licking off the frosting. I looked at her and was like, "Hey! What if I wanted to lick MY own birthday candles?! You could have asked me before just taking them, brat!" She just looked at me and was like, "Sorry." But she totally wasn't sorry at all. I can't wait till her birthday when I can grab her candles and lick all of HER frosting off. My niece tried to offer me her candle that she had already been licking but I politely declined. Then I got presents. My brother, Sil, and niece got me a new cross pendant. It's very pretty, it has purple gemstones. My father bought me a black pearl necklace which is gorgeous. My mother got me a bracelet and a feather bed. My little sister got me slippers that she felt looked "goth". She told me she thought I would like them since as she always reminds me, "I like dead things, and skeletons and evil stuff like that." She's so good to me.

That was my birthday weekend. Oh, and for the first time in like 15 years it didn't rain at all on my birthday.

Bless me Father, for I have Sinned

I lied. Now I'm racked with guilt over it. I agreed to do something that I didn't really want to do and then decided that I couldn't do it and so I lied to get out of it. My insides are churning with the distaste of my horrible deed. They say confession is good for the soul so I'm confessing to you, my brothers and my sisters. I ask for understanding and forgiveness.

I'm afraid that this is going to come back and kick me in the ass. Karma. She's a bitch.

Astonished, Bowled Over, and Floored

I'm not sure if this post will work out cause it's all weird looking on the screen. I had a very action-packed birthday weekend. On Friday night Julie took me out to dinner and we went to Wave's which was fabulous cause I love seafood and I got this scrumptious crab-stuffed trout dish. Then we went to the mall to try and catch a movie but none of the starting times were acceptable to us. So we walked around the mall and checked out some stores. Then Kristen called me on our way back to GP and asked me to stop at her house and pick up something. I have a set of keys to her place while she's staying at her mother's. Well, it turns out that Kristen had been planning a surprise party for my birthday for weeks. I was thoroughly surprised. Actually I think I would have to say that I was beyond surprised. What's a word for that? Flabbergasted? Anyhoo, I jumped back and let out a little yelp when I unlocked the door and was presented with a chorus of "Surprise!". I then proceeded to have a splendid time with my friends and stuffed my face with many of my favorite dishes. My friends were real troopers too cause Julie and I got stuck in an awful traffic jam on the way to GP and I was told that they were all sitting in the dark waiting for me to arrive for over a half hour. Aren't they the best? I love them to pieces. But not literally cause that would make me a serial killer and then they couldn't buy me gifts for future birthdays. There was more action on Saturday and Sunday but that will have be in a Part II post cause I don't like to write too much in one post. I bet you're dying of antici...pation.

Yummy in my Tummy

I'm so ordering pizza for dinner tonight. Mother is out of town so I don't have to listen to her saying how it's bad for me. Calories, schmalories. It's good eatin'! Mmmmmm, pizza. I can barely contain my excitement at the thought of eating pizza. I feel like doing cartwheels!

I didn't get called for a subbing job again today. It's nice not having to work cause I can play The Sims and visit Kristen but it doesn't help me pay my bills. My automobills. Ha! I'm very giggly today. I think it's the anitbiotics. I was in CVS today and just started smiling and giggling to myself. One of the stockpeople gave me a strange look. So I was like, "I love this store and its wonderful array of items." Then I bought a toothbrush.

What You Love About Me

I had my girlie exam today. Yay for womanhood! You know, where they open you up with a speculum and then scrape the inside of your uterus. Ah, good times. And since I love sharing personal information with friends and strangers alike, I'm going to share the details of my exam. Now, I go to Planned Parenthood since I don't have health insurance so the deed is actually performed by a nurse practitioner. Her name was Sheryl. She was very pleasant and amicable. As she was doing the breast exam she asked what I did for a living. So as I was laying there with my arm above my head I told her how I had just recently gotten my teaching certificate but didn't have a full-time job so I'm currently subbing. She responded by continuing to knead my breasts but she looked very excited. I've seen people look excited before when viewing my boobs but usually it's cause they're so velvety soft and luscious not cause I just said I got my teaching certificate. When it came to the speculum part she kept having to adjust the thing and it didn't hurt but it wasn't exactly pleasant. Finally she got it and she goes, "Sorry about that. You have a long vagina." How does one respond to that? I thought about cracking a joke and going, "Ha! That's what my last boyfriend said too!" Or being serious and contemplative and saying, "I've always suspected as much." I settled for a simple, "Ah." Anyhoo, that was my exam. Now I have more birth control so I can go out and have wild sex with abandon! (joking, guys. don't start calling me)

Now I'm off to vote. I always think it's beneficial to have your uterus scraped before choosing which candidate to vote for.