Have a Beer for Uncle T. He'd want it that way.

My Uncle Timmy died the other day. I had to drive my mother to the airport today so she could fly out to Syracuse, NY and attend the viewing and funeral with her remaining siblings. My other uncle (Uncle Peter, still alive) originally said that he only wanted immediate family (i.e. siblings only, both parents are dead from illnesses related to smoking) at the funeral and so I shouldn't come but then he apologized and said I could come but it didn't work out for me to go anyways. Also according to my other uncle there's not going to be a big fanfare or any fuss over the dead uncle. Uncle P is angry at Uncle Timmy's lifestyle and early demise due to said lifestyle. My Uncle Timmy was only 52 years-old. He was diagnosed with emphysema a couple years ago and was told by his doctor to quit smoking and drinking and he was supposed to be on oxygen 24/7. He did none of these things. But it was his choice and he knew the consequences of not following the doctor's orders. My Uncle Timmy was a fun guy. All he cared about was having a good time and making sure everyone around him was happy. Ah, good ol' Uncle Timmy...you'll be missed.

A New Order

Last week I was subbing at Warren Woods for the new science teacher they had hired. The teacher had been officially hired but was finishing up her position at another school with block scheduling. The students hadn't had an actual teacher for the first few weeks of the semester, just subs giving out worksheet after worksheet. When I'm subbing for a class I tend to be much more laid-back than when I have my own class. I let students listen to their ipods or sleep and move to other desks just as long as they're not bugging me or other students who are actually working. So the students had me as a relaxed sub who didn't lecture or check their work or yell at them from Monday thru Thursday. Then the new teacher was there for Friday but they wanted me in the room since I had been with the students all week. She came in and right away started laying down some ground rules and making them put their ipods away and assigning seats. So she sets them to work sitting quietly in their assigned seats and watches like a hawk for ipods or talking or any behavior she didn't approve of. Even I was a little scared of her. At one point she left the classroom to go to the office and one of the students looked at me with an imploring look in his eyes and whispered, "Help us."

Rebirth of an Accursed Enemy

I had this long post written about Family Dinner and Ryan coming and making butter and then...that blasted Post Eraser struck! Damn you, Post Eraser, DAMN YOU!!! (shakes fist angrily in air)

Let's Get Physical

I finally got my Bally's membership info in the mail on Thursday so yesterday I went to the gym to get my membership card and try the place out. I went after subbing in Royal Oak and I really just wanted to go home and take a nap but I forced myself to go to that gym. Since I'm a new member I get a free 1-hour session with a trainer. I set up my appointment for Monday. I'm somewhat nervous about this hour-long session with a trainer. First because it's a frickin' hour long. I'm usually lucky to push myself to do 30 minutes of any kind of activity so an hour is going to practically kill me. And second I'm wary of the actual trainer. When I made the appt with him I was not getting a typical physical trainer vibe. He has this really quiet voice and he's very soft-spoken. He also was hunching his shoulders and I always picture trainers jutting their chest out and strutting around like they own the place. After we made the appt, he goes, "Um, so okay. So...um...I'll see you on Monday at 3:15 and we'll...um...workout and stuff." It didn't really instill confidence in me but I basically just want to learn exercises that will help me with target areas and how to use the equipment which I'm sure he'll be able to do. Then I changed into my workout clothes and used a treadmill and stationary bike for 12 minutes each. Baby steps, you know. I was a little disconcerted by the looks of horror on the faces of the other gym members when I was walking around. I think I was like a walking warning sign to them. This is what happens if you stop going to the gym every week. They were all quite fit and thin and in great shape. So for me they were like walking inspirational posters. A win-win situation.

Fruit of my Loins

I've been collecting wine bottle corks for over a year now. We usually go through 3-8 bottles of wine each week at Family Dinner and the host will give me the corks. I also collect them from various other places. I've got quite a lot now. We had Family Dinner at Barb's last night and when she was giving me the corks my father asked what I was going to do with all the corks that I've been collecting. I said that I wasn't sure but I was thinking of getting a cheap low coffee table and then glueing the corks on the top in a single layer and putting glass over it cause I thought that it would look cool. And my father replies, "Why don't you somehow use them to get me another grandchild?" And I was all, "How can I use corks to give you a grandchild? What, you want me to make a grandchild out of corks?" Well, the idea totally caught on and we all ran with it. It was decided that I will create a cork-child and I will call him Corky. I told my father that I expect him to babysit Corky and bring him to work to show off to his law firm partners. Now I have to figure out how to create a cork-child. Suggestions would be appreciated.

A Fish Called Edgar

I'm going to buy a ceramic fish from Target tomorrow. It's on sale this week for $10. I told my mother that I'm going to put it on the mantel in the living room. It's awesome. I almost bought it the other night when I was at Target with Kristen but I wasn't sure about spending the money. It's all I've been thinking about since that night though and I've realized that I can't live without it. So I'm going to buy the beautiful ceramic fish tomorrow. Soon my life will be complete. Well, except for not having a full-time teaching job, being hopelessly in debt, and living with my mother at the age of 30. But those are just minor details.

More Spinning, Less Talking About Yourself

The two classes I'm taking this semester are a lot more work than I thought they would be. And of course a bunch of the students in one of the classes think that a class discussion means telling everyone about their retarded, mulatto or whathaveyou child. I hate hearing about other people's annoying children. I'm not paying tuition to hear about thier stupid lives and stupid problems. If they want to sit in a room and talk about themselves then they should save thier tuition money and spend it on a shrink instead. It's just like on game shows when they have the person talk about themselves. I get so annoyoed on Wheel of Fortune cause it's like they're given a list of adjectives to use when describing their family. They can't just say, "I'm married with 2 daughters." They have to say, "I'm married to a wonderful man and I have two adorable and precious daughters.". Jeez, gag me. My mother always gets mad at me cause I start screaming at the television going, "Shut the hell up! Nobody cares! Just spin the wheel you diseased crack whore!" Maybe my father is right. Perhaps television really is a communist plot to sap the lifeblood of the American Youth.