Sip, Scratch, and Score

I have tons of work to do for school. All my end-of-the-semester projects that I didn't start working on before like I had planned are soon due. But I still managed to go out two nights this week, which is a lot for me.

During class on Tuesday my phone started ringing. It was during a group presentation. Luckily, my phone was in its phone case, which was in my purse, which was in my backpack so only those in the back row with me could hear it. I pretended it wasn't mine and looked quizzically around like the rest of the row. One classmate figured out it was mine and I was like, "Eyes ahead, Mike! I am trying to learn about Serbosnia Macademians." It was my multicultural diversity class.

Anywho, after class when I was home the phone rang again and it turns out it was Beckie. She begged me to come to Wave's and help her and her Albanian coworker drink a fishbowl filled with blue alcohol. More diversity! Yay! I'm the type of person who always helps a friend in need, so I changed into a shirt that more prominently displayed my boobies and headed on over. There was a DJ there that night so Beckie and I got to request songs which was might fun. I thought the DJ was cute but he was also possibly gay. Joeboo is right. I think gay men emit some chemical that's like a pheromone for me. It's like nature's cruel joke on me.

And then last night I went on a date with J.C. But not the J.C. you're thinking of.

I Have Shame: Part 2

I actually kindof like that new song by Jesse McCartney. Isn't that boy like 13 or something?

Mr. Right Now

The other night at Family Dinner my father asked me if Young Catechist and his roommate are gay. I confirmed that they are. He then screams in my face, "What the hell is wrong with you?! Why do you only fall for gay men or convicted felons?" So I pointed out that Captain Sparkle was neither gay nor a felon. He was a compulsive gambler.

Ha! That blew his theory out of the water.

I don't need your steenkin' cable!

I hate solicitors. I figure that if I want something, I will make the effort to get it myself. Don't come to me and try to sell me something. And I really hate it because I try to be nice and it's so hard for me to be mean to these people. But you keep saying no, no thank you, I'll think about it and they just keep talking and won't take no for an answer. Tonight I was at the sink rinsing off my dinner plate when there's a knock at the door. So I quickly turn off the water and hope that they couldn't hear it. But then I realize I have the TV on and I know they can hear that. So I look through the peephole and I see a tall guy wearing a white baseball cap and someone behind him. And I think to myself, "I don't have any tall friends who wear white baseball caps." So I stand there and hope they'll go away. And then I hear (in a female voice) "Hi, it's Comcast." Now, I don't have cable but they've obviously heard the activity and know someone is inside. So I open the door with the chain (yes, I know this would not help in an actual robbery) and I'm like, "Hello?" And then the chick is like, "Oh, is your mom not home right now?" And then I'm just ticked. So I take off the chain but keep the door open only 5 inches and I'm like, "No. This is my apartment." She babbles about me sounding young and then starts asking if I have cable now, if I've had cable before, how long I've lived here, yada, yada, yada. And then she does that thing where instead of asking if you want something, they just state that they're going to do it. She says, "So we'll come by Saturday for your free installation." I REALLY hate when they do that. And I'm like, "No thanks." And she babbles more. I say, "I can't really afford cable right now so no, thanks." And she babbles more. She hands me a pamplet. I focus on her comcast headband and don't actually register what she's saying as she talks more. At one point she mentions Lifetime and I perk up for a minute but I resist. Finally, I'm like, "Can I think about it?" She says yes, points out the number and leaves. And I'd like to point out that I've received these pamplets and notices on my door about 17 times already so obviously if I wanted the frickin' cable I would have called and signed up. I understand that people need to make a living but I can barely afford groceries. Unless you're going to offer me cable for $2.04/m0nth, then I can't afford it. Leave me alone. Unless you have beer. And lemurs.

I Have Shame

Today is Monday. The start of the week. I went through my usual Monday routine; got up at 7am and worked out, left for work at 8:30am with coffee in hand, worked till 1pm, drove home, microwaved a Lean Cuisine lunch, went online to check email and blogs of friends. It was like any other Monday until my cell phone rang. I looked at the number and it was my friend Julie. And I'm thinking, "Hmmm, I wonder why Julie is calling?" And I answer and as I say hello it suddenly dawns on me, I was supposed to work at Gleaner's today! Sacre Bleu! How could I have forgotten?! I'm so embarrassed by my obvious lack of brainpower and ditzyness. Luckily I think Julie was chuckling on the other end and didn't seem mad. She asked if I would be coming tomorrow and I assured her that I would. Why am I such an airhead? I'm going to go bury my head in the sand now. Then later I'll buy some chocolates for the ladies at Gleaner's to make up for my folly.

Random Acts of Writing

I'm so SUPER excited for the CBS Sunday movie "Shark Attack:Spring Break" with the chick from The O.C. ! I'm also excited for the new show with Tim Daly cause I've always thought he was unobviously cute (I don't think I expressed that right, he's cute but not in an over the top or cocky way, you know?) and very amusing. It looks like one of those shows that will be either really good or really lame. So, let's hope it's good and I don't look like a dim-witted fool in a few months.

My mother had a party the other night where nobody drank the beer she had bought. So she gave it to me cause she didn't have room in her fridge and she only drinks beer on obscenely hot summer days. So I now have 24...wait, I'm drinking one right now so make that 23 beers in my fridge. OH HAPPY DAY!!! It's like Christmas in July! Except that it's March and close to Easter. Whenever she offers leftover beer to me I have to seem interested but not too excited cause I don't want her to think I'm a lush. I keep oscillating (i'm not sure if that's the right word, it makes me think of a fan) between wanting to share the beer with my peeps and wanting to drink it all myself.

At Family Dinner the other day my mother was telling people about a conversation she had with a fellow parishioner. Him and his wife are family friends and one of their sons graduated with my brother and another son was 2 years ahead of me in school and was in Youth Group with me in high school. Anywho, he was remarking to her that every week or so I seem to bring a new guy to church (but not replacing anyone, just adding) and our pew is becoming my mother, me and then several young men. I thought this was fabulous and was so excited that people in my church believe that I have the power to lure cute young men to church until Young Catechist pointed out that he's the one actually bringing the cute boys cause it's his roommate and various guys his roommate picks up the night before that have been attending and sitting in our pew of late. I scolded Young Catechist for popping my happy bubble and made him say ten Hail Marys.

In case you missed it, Young Catechist's roommate is also gay. I think I'm becoming a fag hag. Is that PC? Probably not, knowing my luck. I would be fine with this except I think fag hags are charactized as being fat.

22 beers. I just opened another one. My peeps should speak now or forever hold their peace if they want to partake in the Trish B. Beer. TBB. Ha. That tickles me. Hmmmmmm...it seems that my tolerance has gone down.

I Lika the Vino

I drank too much wine at Family Dinner yesterday. I didn't leave my mother's house till after 11pm and usually Family Dinner is over by 8pm at the latest. I was hurtin' this morning when I had to get up and go to work. But I found out some interesting information. The cute young catehichist from my church who I've been casually flirting with for the last several months came to Family Dinner yesterday. I learned that he's gay. And he's considering the priesthood.

But it's kindof cool cause once I found out that he's gay I was thinking, "This is fabulous! We can be such great friends now and totally hang out and go shopping!" He was too young for me anyways.

Don't Tease

What is up with stupid Blogger and it's stupidness? I have been trying to post for the last day and it wouldn't do it. And then I tried to comment on other people's blogs and sometimes it wouldn't go to the comment page or after I typed my comment and submitted it, it would be stupid again.

Anywho, it's Friday. I'm on Spring Break for the next week which is faboo. It would be even more faboo if I had money to go somewhere warm and soft.

I got my midterm from my Methods class back the other day. I got an A! I had seriously thought that I had bombed that test and was thinking I would be lucky to get a low B. I got a 48 out of 50. Woooooooooooooo!!! Only 2 points off!

This post is boring but I'm tired and can't remember what else I was going to write about.

Daytime Silence

I survived the sleepover with the 6 year-old hellion. That girl can talk. All night long it was, "Sissy, guess what we did at school?", "Sissy, I brought a cartoon with the Grim Reaper cause I know you like stuff about death and skeletons", "Sissy, what's this phallic shaped object with King Tut's face on it?". And never watch a movie or show that you haven't seen with her if she's already seen it. She spoils everything. I think she believes that she's being helpful. But in all honesty I wasn't really worried if Barbie and River were going to break up during their Jammin' Jamaica trip. Sarah seemed to think I was and reassured me that everything would be okay. And then we have to pretend that we're characters on the show and she always chooses the coolest one. When we were watching the Snow White and Cinderella movie she got to be Cinderella and I had to be Snow White and she knows that I hate Snow White. I got her back though cause when my (Snow White's) stepmother tried to kill me, I was like, "Oh my god, Sarah, you mother is trying to kill me! What kind of sick and twisted mother do you have?!" And then she explained that it was just pretend and it wasn't her
mojfsuckiddoidodkdeffi MOTHER FUCKER STOP ITALISZINGGLKDJDFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

okay. All I wanted was for "her" to be in italics and I ran into some problems. Now I am really, really, REALLY, fucking annoyed. The question is, do I just leave the post like this? I think I shall.

There's a small child in my soup

I was supposed to babysit my little sister tonight but now we're having a sleepover. I didn't find this out till 8:30pm last night when she called. And how do you say no to a six year-old whose father is Joeboo? So I had to scramble to clean my apartment and hide the liquor bottles, circus elephants, and boy toys. I wonder if I still get paid. I mean, I'm still technically babysitting, right? But she'll probably want to eat my food. And play with my toys. And brush my hair. And wash my dishes. Okay, that last one was actually just wishful thinking on my part.