The Adventures of the Wixom Vixen

A woman of mystery. A woman with big boobies. A woman who likes cheese sticks.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Oh, Happy Day!

Tonight I used 70% of the $100 my father and stepmother gave me for Christmas to buy groceries. And a hammer. It was such an exhilerating experience to not worry about the price and to go ahead and buy the national brand instead of the store brand. I actually bought cheese spread and crackers! The luxury!

Then when I got home I was putting away the groceries and noticed the bottom shelf was becoming cluttered and wondered where I could move the lettuce and apples. then it hit me. The produce drawer in the bottom of the fridge! Genius! and when I opened the drawer there were two leftover beers from my birthday party! I had hidden them there so that I would have some if all the other beers were gone. It's like it's my birthday all over again! I'm so happy. I'm going to go and open more drawers and see what other treats await me. While drinking my special beers.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Does this taste strong to you?

I'm done with classes for this semester. I survived my first semester of graduate school. I'm so proud of myself. I think I deserve to buy myself a new party dress.

Going to work this morning sucked the big one. Not the left-one though. We got like 6 inches of snow or something and of course the parking lot at work hadn't been plowed which was great after my 15 mph 40 minute commute. But then they made us move our cars an hour after I arrived so they could plow and I was trying to go one way and realized it wouldn't work so I tried to reverse but my car just made a grunting noise and didn't move. So I was like, "Okay, I guess I'm going forward then." And after all that when I left around 2pm the parking lot still hadn't been plowed. Dumbasses. Then I get home and my apartment complex parking lot hasn't been plowed. I'm so annoyed cause last week they sent this notice informing us to move our cars during the day after a snowstorm so they can plow. The world is full of liars!

I think I'm going to the Tap Room tonight. I was planning on just staying at my Mother's overnight but when I called to talk to her about it she was all, "Are you at home? I'll call you right back. Bye." That was over an hour ago. Maybe I'll go take a nap. Rest up for tonight. You know, since the Tap Room requires so much energy.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Love Jesus children, then buy stuff for your teacher

One thing I love about teaching catechism at my church is that every year a few students get their teachers a Christmas present. And I got a great gift from one girl this year, I was opening the package and saw coffee related stuff and was like, "Oh my gosh! Is this coffee? How did she know?! I love it!" It was beautiful, it had coffee and a mug and chocolate. I was so excited. I'm really into coffee now that I have my own coffeemaker and drink coffee every morning before work. That student will be getting a fabulous Thank You card from me. And I also got a tin of cookies from another student and those were quite lovely. We played Pictionary this morning since it was the last class before Christmas break and I thought I was going to lose my hearing with all the screaming. Those kids are crazy loud. But I love 'em anyways.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Tears of a Vixen

So, I've just finished my last crying spell of the night. At least, I'm hoping it's the last one. I was watching Raising Helen and was pretty much in tears for the last half of the movie. I wish that I could bottle my tears and sell them cause I could make a cool million in a month or two. Money, money, money. It makes the world go 'round. Oh crap, there's a commercial for Arby's on. Here we go again.

Fun with Words

I was looking up bitch in the Thesaurus so I could give my "friends" some fun synonyms to use when describing me but it wasn't in there. So I looked up malevolence instead and I found this word which I think will be perfect. I've heard it before but never really knew the definition so now I'll share it with those who are reading this. Don't worry there will be more to come. We must have many, many harsh words to cut down Jessica.

acrimonious: caustic, stinging, or bitter in nature, speech or behavior.

Brilliant!

Vixen Log 77,624: No feelings, please

I finished my Christmas shopping this morning. The line at Kohls was crazyass long. Then I went to CVS and got wrapping materials. Next I came home and made myself a club sandwich. Raffi whined like a banshee so I gave him some cat treats. This afternoon I'm going to study for my Tilles test and put stuff on notecards. When I take breaks from studying then I'll wrap some presents. I also have to change Raffi's litter box.

Friday, December 17, 2004

Evil Reincarnate

I don't know what to write in here anymore. If I vent my feelings then I'm a bitch. If I lament my lot in life then I'm wallowing in self-pity. And from the scoldings I've taken, these seem to be atroicious traits. So, I am now warning you that I am about to wallow in self-pity so if that is displeasing to you then you should stop reading this. I'm so miserable with my life right now that I can't stand it. I used to think that "crying yourself to sleep" was just a random expression but now I understand it. I cry every night. What really makes me cry is that Spanglish commerical were Adam Sandler's daughter knocks on his door and she's crying and he says, "What's wrong, Sweetie?" and hugs her. Right now I'm watching Spiderman 2 and it's the part where Mary Jane is yelling at Peter Parker (spiderman) for not coming to her play when she has no idea what's going on with him. It made me think of myself and how nobody knows what goes on with me day to day but on those occasions when they do see me or talk me, they feel it's necessary to tell me what a horrible, selfish, cruel, and inhuman person I am. I don't understand the point of the this whole "living" thing but I don't like it very much right now.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Do you like Johnny? Check appropriate box.

As I was pulling up to my apartment this afternoon, If you leave by OMD was playing on the radio and I had to sit in my car after I parked and listen to the whole thing. That song always makes me thing of high school. The good parts of high school. I mean, as terrible as it was, high school was great cause liking someone and flirting with them was all so new and fresh and fun. I don't get quite the same rush now as I did back then. And sex wasn't even on the table which was fabulous. At least for me, it wasn't. I'm sure I had some wanton slutty classmates who put out but I wasn't that type of girl until college. HS was great cause you could just make out with someone and didn't have to worry if it was going to lead to sex or not lead to sex. Nowadays it kindof takes the fun out of making out cause there's always that issue. And you didn't have all the weighty issues that I have now as an adult. I didn't have to worry about bills or credit card debt or massive student loans. I didn't have to be nice to family members cause I had the "sulky teenager" excuse. I could eat taco bell every night and still wear a size 8. Being an adult is sucky. I want to experience the rush from flirting with a boy I liked again. And then I want to make out with him and not wonder if he's expecting more. I've got it! I just need to find myself a nice high school boy.

Friday, December 10, 2004

I'll be on the linoleum floor in the fetal position

I'm ready to cry. I have a paper due on Monday and I haven't even finished the book yet. I have an assignment for Evil Tilles due on Tuesday and I just found out at our last class that this assignment also requires advertisements from magazines pasted onto 11"x17" cardboard. Which involves hours of looking through the few magazines I have to find stuff even remotely related and then pasting them to the cardboard. But I have the weekend and so I'm thinking, it's okay, I can get these assignments done. I'll be okay. Then I remember that the Gleaners trip with the 7th grade religious ed class is this Saturday which will occupy me from around 12 noon till 5pm. But I think to myself, I'm alright, I can work on the stuff on Saturday night. I breathe a sigh of relief which is short-lived when my brother calls me to ask for a favor. It turns out that him and Ruth agreed to take Sarah tomorrow night but Michael forgot that he has his work party. He can't miss the work party cause he's been on jury duty and must show his face and must take his wife. And he can't renig (sp?) on our Most Exalted Father cause the wrath that would follow is just to scary to think about. So he begs me to come over tomorrow night from 6:30 to "around" 10:30 to help Judy watch Sarah and Zoe. And I know that you really have to have two people to watch those two and he's already tried Mom and she can't do it. So I said yes. So now I basically have the rest of tonight and Sunday to finish these projects. I don't know if I can do it and I'm totally stressing out. It REALLY doesn't help that I'm no longer medicated. But the wine seems to be helping a little. Egads, I cannot wait, I mean I truly cannot WAIT till this friggin' semester is done. Oh, I forgot. I also DO have to take the last test for my psych class. I'm not really that stressed about that one cause he drops the lowest grade but I'll still have to study cause I'm just not the type of person who doesn't study cause I can toss the grade. I'll keep thinking that I might somehow do better than one of the other tests and totally ace the class. Gah! I just want to scream really loud for a really long time. And then curl up in the fetal position and cry.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Memos, memos everywhere

Last night I went over to Austin's and then some TNOF'ers went to the bar to celebrate his birthday. I didn't get home till after 1am but I still got up this morning and worked out. I'm so proud of myself. And now I'm even starting to wake up before my alarm goes off. At first when Beckie mentioned The Firm, I thought she was talking about that movie with Tom Cruise but I think she means some sort of exercise thingy which would be faboo.

I have my last psych class tonight and I'll get back my test from last week. If I did well on it then I think I can opt out of the final. He gives 4 tests and drops the lowest grade and I've gotten a B+ or better on the first two tests and I think I performed about the same on the last one. I'll be so excited if I don't have to take the last test. Then I would only have an ed. psych paper, a Tilles assignment and the Tilles Final Examination left for the semester.

I tried to make chili last night and it was crap. It's my Mother's fault though. She made this fabulous chili for Sunday dinner a couple weeks ago and when I mentioned I liked it she said, "Oh, well I'll buy you the ingredients and all you'll need to get is the ground beef and I'll tell you how to make it. It's so easy. " So I did what she said and it is not like her delicious chili. And so now I have crappy chili leftovers cause I'm certainly not going to toss the stuff after spending $3 on beef. I found that if you put alot of cheese in it then it's not so bad and kindof edible. Who will marry me if I can't make chili?

The Adventures of Raffi S. Buttiglieri

Raffi likes to whine a lot. And he has the most grating and unbearable whine that I've ever heard a creature make. So when he really gets bad I'll say, "Raffi, nobody likes a whiner. You won't make friends doing that." Or sometimes I'll mix it up and go, "Who likes a whiner? That's right. Nobody." Right now he's trying desperately to get into an empy cabinet which is currently blocked by a case of Diet Coke. Ah, he made it in by knocking over the case. Fabulous. Now I can only roll my eyes and resist the urge to replace the case of Diet Coke and trap him. I must remember that if I trap him, though it would be highly amusing, the end result would be him whining to get out.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Mr. Cow says Moo

Not having health insurance is a bitch. Now I have to be "careful" all the time cause if something happens and I get sick or hurt it'll mean a genimormsous medical bill. And it also means no prescriptions and without my meds I'm all melancholy and fertile.

I've decided to toss the leftover cheesecake that my mother gave me from her party. I've been having a small slice everyday and there's still tons left and I can see myself just grabbing it one night and eating the whole thing. I USED to have pumpkin cheesecake but I left it on the counter and Raffi ate through the plastic covering and then ate as much as he could. Stupid evil cat.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

I am the Student Appeal

I finished my second project for Evil Dr. Tilles. I had to find stupid clip art for "student appeal". Raffi is now laying on my completed project which doesn't really bother me that much since it's for that woman that I loathe. I like that word, loathe. I think that word might be too good to use for Dr. Tilles.

Jay said I was sexy and that made me happy cause he's like the authority on sexiness. I was reading this book last week by Jennifer Crusie about a fat chick who ends up with a gorgeous hottie and I was like, "Ha! Yeah, right. Like that's realistic". I have an advertisement for the Gotti Christmas show that I pulled out of a magazine stuck on my fridge cause that one Gotti boy is quite the hottie. He's a Gotti Hottie! Anyways, that's my motivation when I go to the fridge and want to eat something bad or when I want to eat in general. I just think about how he would never look at someone of my size and that I have to be thin for when we meet. I seem to be motivated more by cute boys than by $3000. Does that seem strange? Wrong? Dimented and twisted? All of the above?

Monday, December 06, 2004

Is it me?

There was a fire at my apartment complex the other day. It was all over the news. I didn't even know there was a fire until Joy called and woke me up at 7am. She saw it on the news and wanted to make sure I was alright. It was a building down at the other end so I wasn't affected except for the fact that I couldn't leave until the fire trucks and police cars and whatnot moved which caused me to be an hour late to work. the whole building was basically gutted by the fire. Craziness. So then on Saturday night I went to my Mother's annual christmas party and everyone's asking me, "So, where are you living now?" And I'm like, "Do you watch the news at all? You know that apartment complex in Roseville that had the fire? I live there but not in the building that burned down."

In other news, I joined the Reader's Digest diet program. So I can add that to my list of diets that don't work. Well, they might work for other people. I'm really determined this time, though. I mean, I'll never get a boyfriend if I don't lose some weight. And I want to get married someday and having a boyfriend is a integral part of the process.


A Dish Best Served Cold

I was thinking of writing a letter to Wayne State to tell them what a horrible professor Dr. Tilles is but then I remembered the class evaluations we fill out at the end of the semester. Now I'm really excited and looking up words to describe how horrible and preposterous her stupid class is. I'm trying to work on her latest torturous assignment which is due tomorrow but I just can't get motivated to do it.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Je deteste Docteur Tilles

Stan the Spider stopped by while I was checking my email. He scared the crap out of me cause he descended from the ceiling onto my mouse. It was nice of him to stop by but he is somewhat of a creepy looking spider and I really didn't want him on my mouse. I got my grade for that stupid Reading class project. I got a B-. Buuuuuuuuuuut, I got 86 out of 100 points. Exactly! Who the hell has a grade scale that makes an 86 a B-? The evil Dr. Tilles, that's who. That woman is driving me to drink. And now I have a ed. psych test tomorrow that I've hardly studied for and last night I found out that I have to translate ANOTHER 3 chapters for the next Tilles offering. And then I have to do the actual assignment. That's why this post is in red, like the blood that Dr. Tilles is draining from mybody. Life is hard.