Why me?

I rented a DVD from Family Video the other night and while I was watching it, it started to freeeze and then play and then freeze again. So I tried to fast forward and then it just froze and wouldn't do anything. It wouldn't stop, it wouldn't fast-foward, it wouldn't rewind. Then the screen just goes blue and the machine switches over to VCR. So I go back to DVD and try to get it to do anything but nothing's happening. So I decide I'll just take the DVD out and now it won't open so the DVD is stuck in the machine. Again, I try everything to get out, including unplugging and replugging to no avail. So I call Family Video and tell my old co-worker Steve about my problem and he says to bring the machinge there. So I have to unlpug all the wire thingies and lug the thing over to the store. Steve plugs the machine in at the store and hits the open button and the thing pops open. No problem. Then my old coworkers are all laughing at me and I look like the biggest moron. So I take my machine and walk out with my head hung in embarassment and humiliation. On the way home I couldn't decide if I should laugh or cry at my stupid luck.

You must ship it!

I got a book that I had ordered on 1/14/05 this past Saturday which was 1/29/05. I was annoyed but it was within the expected delivery dates so there's nothing I can do. Until I look at the invoice and it shows the shipping date as 1/24/05! That's 10 days after the order date and 6 days after the date that the shipper supposedly agreed to ship. So I write to Amazon and tell them that I'm pissed and that they shouldn't use that shipper cause they don't keep their word. Amazon wrote back and was like, "Sorry about that. Here's $10." Wooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! Money for the Wixom Vixen! I was hoping that they would tell me they had beaten that shipper with a rubber hose but money works too.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, dumbass

I'm going to explain a little about my job so that the following narrative will make sense. I work in the call center of a trucking company. We ship freight from one place to another. My job is to schedule the "picking up" of the freight but sometimes I get calls from people who want the terminal but they hit the wrong option. My company has terminals all over the country where the trucks are dispatched from. The terminal that picks up your(customer) freight is your "servicing terminal". If a customer wants to speak to "their" terminal I have to get the city and state to find out the servicing terminal.

Okay, here's the story.

Wixom Vixen: Central Transport, this is Jessica, how may I help you?
customer: Is this the Birmingham terminal?
Wixom Vixen: No, I'm at the call center in Michigan. are you trying to reach a terminal?
customer: Yeah, I need the Birmingham terminal.
WV: what state is that?
cust: Alabama. did you study geography in school, Jessica?
WV: why, yes I did. I was just asking about the state to be certain of the right terminal. there's a Birmingham in Michigan, you know.
cust: well, shame on me. I didn't know that. I'm from the south and I'm very stupid.

Okay, he didn't really say that last part. I was so mad after I got off the phone. So, I did a search and found that there are 14 states with a city named Birmingham and they are as follows; AL, MI, PA, NJ, VA, GA, MS, KY, OH, IN, IL, MO, IA, KS. So now if anyone ever tells you they're from Birmingham and you ask what state and they think you're stupid, just give them that list. It's a legitimate question.

Pulled in Many Directions

Why are there so many good shows on Tuesdays at 9pm?

Sacre Bleu!

It's snowing again. I'm working on an assignment for my Mulitcultural Education in Urban America class and it's quite tedious. I just had to read about 12 facets of culture and now I have to write a personal example for each one. Sheesh.

One of my other classes is Computer Applications in Teaching. Now, you have to complete this class before you can become certified to teach so accordingly, nobody in the class should be certified which then means very few would be teaching. The first night of class the professor asks who is NOT currently teaching and 3/4 of the class raise their hands. Makes sense, cause we're not certified but she's all flabbergasted and surprised. Then she asks how many of us have NOT made lesson plans before and the same amount raise their hands. Once again, why would we have made lesson plans if we're not teaching? And once again she's surprised and gets all huffy and is like, "Well, most of this class is designed for those who are teaching and have made lesson plans so you'll probably have trouble." WTF?! You CAN'T teach until you've taken this class, dumbass! Sometimes Wayne State makes me want to pull my hair out.

Head Covering is Lost Forever

So, I haven't been able to find my new cat hat that I got for Christmas the last few days. I've been very annoyed cause it's frickin' freezing out and I've had to wear my old hat that I'm not particularly fond of. I just ended that sentence with a prepostion. Shit. Back on point..I haven't had this cool new hat to wear and I've been trying to figure out where I left it. And then today as I drive into my apartment complex and park, I see my hat on top of the fire hydrant in front of my building. And of course I'm wary as I approach cause I'm wary of everything these days and I gingerly touch it with one finger and it's all stiff from the cold and has dirt and stuff on it. Then I start thinking that it could have anything on it, like jizz. So, I had to leave it cause otherwise I would be wearing a jizz-hat. Phooey.

To Party, or Not To Party?

I've been considering having a Valentine's Day party but I can't decide. I've had a few Valentine's shindigs in the past and they've been pretty entertaining and I do love being the accomdating hostess. But will people not want to attend a party cause they'll be celebrating privately with their honey? So, I'm asking for your advice and input. What say you? Yay or Nay?

The Best Laid Plans

I went to see Catalog Only this past weekend. I haven't been able to go to many of their shows recently cause of my lack of monetary funds but this show was some sort of contest and I felt compelled to support them since I love them. I like to shout out how much I love them between songs when the crowd is quieting down. While I was there I asked Austin if Steve had mentioned finding my sweater in his room and Austin said no. I was flabbergasted. What's the point of "accidentally" leaving an article of clothing in someone's bedroom if the person isn't even going to friggin' notice it?! Everbody understands the drill. You "forget" something at the other person's place so then they have to contact you and let you know they have it. And then they hold it for "ransom" and you have to "pay the ransom" to get if back. I think that I'm going a little overboard with the quotation marks and cheesy metaphors. But that's not the point. The point is that I'm dealing with amateurs! Now, not only is my sweater actually missing but I can't even pay the ransom! So now I'm very displeased with how my plan has gone awry and I can't find my thesaurus to find what other word I'm feeling. Something between exasperation and sullen. Phooey.

A surprise on my doorstep

This is just shaping up to be a great week for me. This font looks different than usual...gah! Now I'm all distracted. did I change the font? did the font change me?

Okay, I have to worry about that later and get to my good news. I had completely forgotten that I had gotten a present for myself while ordering Christmas presents online, until today when I got home and there was a Victoria's Secret package in front of my door. Weeeeeeeee!!! And one of the bras I ordered is the color "hot orange" and it is FABULOUS! I think they should rename it "AWESOME orange". I wish that I could show people my new bra with this wonderful shade of orange! It's fantabulous. And then I got a matching bra and underwear set (a rarity for me) in some berry color. My bra and underwear seldom match. It's usually a mishmash of floral prints, stripes, solids, polka dots, farm animals, gingham, and plaid all in varying colors. As I was admiring this new matching set it reminded me of a conversation I had once with a guy friend of mine in a smoky bar. Somehow we were talking about underwear, okay, it was probably me who brought it up by flashing a new bra or something but the point is the conversation. He said that if he was hooking up with a chick and she had mis-matched bra and underwear he might not be into making out and/or sealing the deal. And I was like WTF?! He said that it was just too much of a turn-off. I was shocked and appalled. Now, I know that I'm supposed to be working on not judging people so that I don't ruin friendships and make people yell at me but I thought that was one of the most preposterous things that I have ever heard. A guy should be thanking his lucky stars if he even SEES you in your bra and underwear. And then he's going to complain that they don't match?! Oh, no you didn't! (that last sentence should be read in the Wixom Vixen's "white girl ebonic speak")

I can make things happen with the power of Frustration

I don't think it's been more than half an hour since I put up my last post but I had to share this. So, I'm been sitting here at the computer, typing an email to my bestest friend Beckie and there's this knock at the door. At first I'm wary and then I start thinking that it might be a boy for me to make out with and I get excited. I look through the peephole and it's a very tall and somewhat large man and so I open the door but put the chain on (I know that wouldn't actually help) and see that it's the UPS man! Grace a Dieu! He's come back to deliver my computer! He had the wrong phone number for me. The last digit of the phone number he had was a 2 and mine's a 7. So, UPS Guy is like, "I kept calling this guy Gary and he's all macho and sexy on his voice mail, like, 'Hiiiiiiii, this is...Gary' you should call him". Anywho, I have my computer! Yay! Oh yeah, and Raffi got out for a minute and UPS Guy is all apologetic and I'm like, "No worries, man. He can't actually get outside cause of the outer doors and this is just sweet torture cause he's so close yet so far. Sometimes I let him out of the apartment just to tease him." UPS Guy left pretty quick after that.

Mine, Mine, MINE!

I'm VERY frustrated right now and nothing good happens when the Wixom Vixen is frustrated. The UPS guy tried to deliver my computer today but I wasn't here. Of course, I think he tried to deliver cause there was a UPS info notice on my mailbox but nothing was checked off. And there are boxes for him to explain to me what happened and he didn't check them! He didn't check the "attempted to deliver" box, he didn't check what attempt it was, he didn't put where my package is, nothing. Nada. All he put is that it's a Dell computer and then he writes in his stupid chicken scrawl, "put in will call at UPS". huh? And then I try to go on the website cause it says For tracking information, visit us at wwww.ups.com. But MY tracking number can't be found. Of course not, cause that would make me happy. I want my computer, you wankers! I am so NOT making out with any UPS guys.

A Fabulous Start to the New Year

I celebrated New Year's Eve at Austin's place. It was a very laid-back and low key gathering. Originally I was planning on going to a club or bar but I got sick the night before and felt like crap on New Year's Eve morning so I decided going somewhere wasn't the best move. It all turned out for the best though cause Austin's housemate Steve came home sometime after midnight and I got to make out with him again. And then Chris wanted to sleep for a few hours at Austin's before heading home so I got to sleep in Steve's bed. With Steve in the bed too. It was delightful. This morning when I went to church I asked God if this year could just be all about making out with cute boys. Oh, and getting that teaching certificate thing too. But that if that could somehow involve making out with cute boys that would be great. I hope He was paying attention.

I ordered my new computer the other day. I bought a Dell. Almost everyone I talked to said that Dell was the way to go and that it's an excellent buy for the money. I figure that anything has to be better than what I've got now. I'm so excited cause now I can finally burn CD's! I'm a little bummed though cause I couldn't afford the flat panel monitor and I really wanted a flat panel. But I figure maybe I can save up and upgrade in several months or a year.

My mother and I were talking computers and internet the other day and as usual it turned into her blasting my generation for communicating through email and me explaining to her that she's stuck in the past and that phones will be obsolete once we get computer chips in our teeth. I was telling her that somebody had mentioned something on their blog and she's all, "Now, what's a blog?" And so I explained it to her and she's giving me a disapproving look and I'm like, "I have a blog, Mother." Well, she just got all huffy and was like, "So, you just put this personal information up for anyone to see?" I had to explain that you don't put personal stuff like whether you shave it all off down there, keep it neat and trimmed or let nature go wild but just put stuff from your daily life to keep friends updated like how you did on a big test for example. She insisted that one should just call their friends to tell them how they did on a test. We only spoke to each other with one word utterances for the next hour after that.