Catwoman Sans Leather

Do you ever feel like you're being left out of things but you don't know what you did to be left out? And then you start to think that this is just a natural progression of life, friends, and love? And you realize that those "crazy cat-ladies" weren't always recluses living with 17 cats but were once a twenty-something like you with just one cat and lots of friends. And then it became two cats and the friends drifted away. And then things just escalated and in the blink of an eye you became the "crazy cat-lady" that all the kids make jokes about. You go to family dinners and feel like you're not good enough, like your life is lacking. Sure, your brother drives a truck and sets up rental equipment for a living while you're in graduate school studying to become a teacher but at least he's married and has a child. You don't even have any prospects for marriage. And even though nothing will ever be good enough, you always try to make your Dad proud of you? And you hate the fact that it actually matters to you if he is proud of you. You wish that you could just say "To hell with him." but you know there's always that part of you that wants and craves his praise.

Do you ever worry that being really good at procrastinating is not a skill that employers are looking for? I figured I should end on a light note. I guess February really is the month of contemplation.

P.S. The comment about the truck driving relates to my family (my father especially) where it is looked down upon as not being an ideal profession, I'm not trying to put down any truck drivers.

To Blasphemy or not to Blasphemy?

I'm listening to one of the mixed CD's that Beckie made me right now. That girl makes fabulous CD's.

I'm also planning part of the lesson for tomorrow's Religious Ed class. We had the last two weeks off and that was VERY nice but now it's back to teaching the young ones to love Jesus. We're having the high school teaching assistant do half the class but I don't know what he's doing for his half so I don't know what to plan for the rest of class. I think I'm going to have them go over the Ten Commandments cause they always mess those up. "No Johnny, it's not 'You shall be a bear when you witness your neighbor's wife.' Try again" I'm also trying to come up with a definition for blasphemy that they'll understand. This is how the book defines it, "Blasphemy is the act of showing contempt for God or sacred things through one's words or actions". Yeah, that'll clear it up for the 7th graders. This is what I was thinking, "Blaspemy is bad, mmm'kay? You shouldn't do blasphemy, mmm'kay?"

My Uncle Frank is going to be in town for Sunday Family Dinner tomorrow. He resides in Sarasota, FL and doesn't come up to Michigan very often. He's very wealthy and my godfather. So whenever he's in town I make sure that I get to see him so he won't forget his charming and vivacious goddaughter when he's writing out that will. Family Dinner is actually being held tomorrow at Cousin Frank's house, Cousin Frank is Uncle Frank's son. They live in Bloomfield Hills or one of those suburbs with the obscenely large and ornate houses. Cousin Frank is quite wealthy himself, he's a top executive for Chrysler or GM or something. But he's got his own family so there's no point in me kissing up to him. His wife's name is Capri which I've always found intriguing. Jeez, now I have to think of what their kids names are before tomorrow. Oh wait, Joy will know. She always knows these things. She's used to remembering names since her many nieces and nephews are always popping out more babies.

According to my Mother, we're all driving in the Minivan to dinner tomorrow. This is the Minivan doesn't get driven except for road trips. I'm constantly confused by the purpose of the Minivan. My stepmother bought it but she kept her old car and uses the old car most of the time. One time she used the Minivan to go grocery shopping and my Father got all huffy and reprimanded her for improper use of the Minivan. Very odd. But anyways, these are the people that would be going in the 7 passenger Minivan; Joy, Joeboo, Sarah, Ruth, Michael, Zoe, Jessica, and Trisha. Do you see how the math doesn't work? I'm going to suggest that we simply tie Sarah to the roof for the trip. Too bad minivans don't have trunks.

Watch out for Werewolves

The moon looked really cool when I was driving home from class tonight. It's a full moon and it was this cool shade of yellow and really low in the sky. It was like a Scooby-Doo moon.

My skin has been breaking out lately and it's really annoying me. I thought breakouts were supposed to stop after you reached the age 25. And I'm *cough* 3 years *cough* beyond 25 now. I'm using 6 different products to combat this problem and I'm not really sure if they're helping but I'm worried if I stop using them my face will become one huge zit. But then I think that perhaps I'm seeing stuff that others don't. You know what I mean?

Veronica Mars was fabulous last night.

Everyone's been very contemplative lately and I was going to try it but I got nothing. I like shiny objects.

What's come over me?!

I'm still procrastinating with that paper by fooling around online. But I'm annoyed cause I've already commented on all the blogs I check daily and some people didnt even have a new post! Sacre Bleu! So, I was lamenting the fact that my friends havent' posted something new for me to read and be entertained by and then comment on when a thought struck me. And I fell like a brick. Straight out of my chair and to the floor. And the thing about thoughts is that they're quick little buggers. I went to strike back and it kept zooming all around the room out of my reach and eating my cheese. But this was the thought; here I am lambasting my pals when I myself am guilty of the same crime of not posting something new today. So I felt that I should post something. Which is very thoughtful of me. And thoughtfulness is not like me. So I started to worry that I have some strange disease or malady that will now make me care about others and want to...I'm scared to even think it...help people. Quelle horreur! I'm hoping this is one of those 24 hour bugs and tomorrow I'll be back to my usual nefarious self.

I think I see some children outside my apartment building. I should go tell them that Santa Claus doesn't exist. Better yet, I should tell them that Santa is their real daddy cause their mom's looser than a catholic school girl on spring break. Maybe that will cure this "benevolence" illness. Pray for me.

Procrastination, schmcrastination

I don't know if my title even makes sense. I'm supposed to be working on a paper right now but I'm procrastinating. But at least I'm on the computer and I have the Word document open. Before I was procrastinating by cleaning my apartment. I even put my name on the paper and wrote the first sentence when I got on the computer. Then I got bored and went online. This yahoo thing popped up about Avatars and so I decided to change my Avatars outfit. It's now wearing a fur-trimmed coat since it's really cold out. And I'm in a snowy background instead of the city. I wish that my Avatar had an eerie and almost unbelievable resemblence to me like Beckie's Avatar does. She may not win instant prizes but she's winning in the world of Avatars.

Today was the final episode of Endurance:Hawaii. Chris and Lindy won. I'm so glad that Nicole didn't win, I hated that manipulative back-stabber. What's Enduranc:Hawaii, you ask? Why, it's a show on Discovery Kids that's on at 11:30am on Saturdays. It's like Survivor but with middle school aged kids. It's followed by Strange Days at Blake Holesy High which is awesome. This is what not having cable has done to me. I'm actually enthralled by teeny-bopper Saturday morning shows.

Say my name, Bitch.

The other night I was watching some show or movie with my mother, I don't remember what, but she missed someone's name so she asks me and I'm like, "She said Claire." Then my mother comments on how much she loves the name Claire. And I reply, "It's a fat girl's name." And I turn to her and start to smile, waiting for her to get the reference and to laugh. But she frowns and gives me this disapproving look and is like, "Jessica Marie, what kind of comment is that?" And I'm all shocked that she doesn't get it and so I'm like, "Motherrrrrrrrrrrr, it's from The Breakfast Club, remember? Molly Ringwald says her name, Claire, is a family name and Judd Nelson says that it's a fat girl's name. It's a totally classic line." Yeah, she didn't know the movie and made some comment about my generation and our "bizarre" taste in entertainment. And this coming from a woman wearing a sweater covered with farm animals and tapered jeans.

Don't it make my brown eyes blue

I feel very weird right now. Mostly I feel sad and crestfallen and disappointed. I had my Valentine's Party tonight and I feel like it was a failure. A few people cancelled and a few people just didn't show up at all. And then some people came but left after a very short time. This week started off on such a high note that I should have known it would go down. On Monday I got to work and found out that I had won the Super Bowl squares thing. It was a nice chunk of change. But after that, it's like all these little things kept going wrong and twenty minutes before my party tonight I was on the phone with my mother in tears. I've just been feeling really down this week and everything has been going wrong. I'm sick of crying. When is it my turn to be happy?

Take two and call me in the morning

I called in sick to work today. I've been feeling sluggish for the last couple of days and this morning I woke up feeling achy and I have a sore throat and my head feels really heavy. I have to be on the top of my game for my party this Friday so I decided a day of rest and recovery was in order. This is the first time that I've called in since I've been at this job. You know how you still get that nervous and guilty feeling even when you're legitimately sick? Maybe that's just me. I think I get it from my parents who don't miss work unless they're coughing up a lung and their kneecaps have been broken. Writing this post has worn me out and now I must go lay on the couch with my arm over my head and moan, "woe is me, woe is me...". Of course, Raffi is the only one who is here to give me sympathy and that's not quite his forte.

Eau de toilette: Acetone

I'm very nervous right now. I get home to my apartment and when I walk into the building I'm assaulted by this REALLY STRONG smell, like nail polish. I mean, it is crazyass strong. Like somebody when to each apartment and doused every square inch with this putrid smelling chemical. But, I'm hungry since I just got home from work and I turn on the oven to make some lunch and my apartment is suddenly filled with smoke and then the smoke alarm goes off. So I turn off the oven and open every frickin' window and wave a broom at the smoke detector to get it to go off. Now I still have the windows open and being that it's February my apartment is now freezing but I'm afraid to close them. And I'm really, really hungry. And I'm scared to leave cause I'm worried I'll come back and the apartment will be a pile of ashes. Which isn't that far-fetched since a building in my apartment complex din burn down back in December. Ohhh, so very hungry...so very annoyed with acetone-doused building.

Me, me, and...me.

This is what Tess had on her blog the other day:

[01] Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
[02] I will then tell what song[s] remind me of you.
[03] Next, I will tell you who you remind me of, celebrity/animated or otherwise.
[04] Last, i will try to name a single word that best describes you.
[05] Put this in your journal.

And so of course I put my name in cause I love when people talk about me and this was her fabulous reply:

Jessica
1. No contest. "Super Model" by Jill Sobule.
2. DeeDee from Dexter's Laboratory - girlie, a little pampered, and great at making things interesting.
3. Vixen.

I think she was right on particulary with #2. Yay!!!!! I love when things are about me! If anyone else wants to add their own input then I will giggle like a schoolgirl and clap my hands.

Color My World

I'm trying to make sure that everything I eat or drink tonight is a golden yellow color. I had macaroni and cheese for dinner followed by butterscotch pudding. And later if I go out I'll drink beer.