And Now Miss B will Dazzle You with her Brilliance

I subbed every day this past week. It was pretty easy work. On Monday I got to sub for the French teacher at Warren Woods who I pre-student taught with. It was great to actually be spaeaking French again and help the students with -er verbs and body parts. The next day there was a student teacher in the classroom where I was subbing and he actually did the lessons so I just had to sit there and relax. It was only his second day but he did quite well. At lunch he had a little notebook that he was writing in. I think he was making notes about the lesson but one of the other teachers looked over at him writing and was like, "You taking notes on lunch?" We all had a good laugh about that. Then another day I subbed for the librarian which meant I didn't actually have classes. I just sat at the main desk and looked around every once in a while to make sure to make sure any students in the library were behaving while I read magazines and the newspaper. On Thursday I subbed for another teacher who had a student teacher that did the lessons for the afternoon classes. I tried to make the students in the 1st hour class laugh by telling a funny joke. I was pronouncing my last name and I said, "You can call me Miss B if you like. Just don't call me late for dinner!" Most of the students just stared at me with puzzled expressions. And finally on Friday I covered the cosmetology instructor in the morning which involved sitting there and watching high school girls do each other's hair and talk about which boys are cheating with what skanks. We also listened to the radio and I used my position as substitute teacher to veto any country. In the afternoon I subbed for the Health Skills (nursing) instructor and she had the students watching the movie "Speak". So all I had to do was make sure the students didn't get too crazy and sit and watch the movie. And they're going to pay me for all that hard work. Outstanding!


Updates to come in the following days:

I'm going to Germany in June
My mother bought me a gym membership

Decisions, Decisions

I'm trying to decide what to do tonight. Some friends are going to see the movie Pan's Labyrinth which is supposed to be fantastic and I'm sure I would enjoy seeing it and hanging out with friends. But it's a half-hour drive to the movie theatre and it's at 10:30pm. I think that I'm showing my age by being concerned with these things. But there's another kink to think about. My mother is going out tonight and she NEVER goes out. Seriously, this is the first time she's gone out in about 7 months. And she's not even really going out, she's going to her knitting club get-together. Since she never goes out I NEVER get the house to myself at night to watch horror movies on the big TV or sit and not listen to her incessant rambling or sniffling from crying at every frickin' thing on television. The woman cries if someone gets a paper cut on a show. Last night was HORRENDOUS when we were watching Grey's Anatomy. Not only was she weeping like she was going to bottle her tears and sell them but she had to tell me for the 117th time that she's appointed her friend to make medical decisions if she's in that kind of situation (George's father) so Miquel and I won't have to go through the emotional turmoil of having to decide our mother's fate. So then I end up yelling at her that she's told me this over a hundred times and that she must think I have memory loss or am stupid since she's told me so many frickin' (I might have used stronger language) times and she gets all hurt and cries even MORE. Gah! And she always has to know what I'm doing. I look for something on the dining room table and she has to know what I'm looking for. Why? It doesn't concern her. If I get out a snack she'll point out the obvious by saying, "Having a snack?" No, Mother, you're just imagining me sitting here eating goldfish. The woman is driving me to drink. A night all by myself lazing on the couch with no one around pestering me sounds FABULOUS.

You see? This might be my only opportunity for the next year to have the house to myself and no pestering mother and I don't know if I should let it go by. It's a conundrum.

Seeing is Believing

There are some things that you hear about existing and people say that they've seen them but you always just think it's a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, or Britney Spears' underwear. And the one that I always thought was just people making jokes was the plumber's butt crack. But I saw it with my own eyes yesterday and it was frightening. My mother called a plumber cause the drain in the basement wasn't draining and we had a big 3" deep puddle in the basement. So I lead the plumber downstairs and I'm standing there as he's looking at the drain and I look down and he's squatted down to get a better look there it is! The infamous butt crack! It was huge and just...there! Out in the open for all the world to see! I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from cying out in horror. Then I decided to go upstairs and let him do his thing in peace. Do they not know how to pull up their pants? Is that part of plumber training? He did fix the drain though so maybe that's the price you have to pay. Well, along with the $149.95.

Jessica the Conqueror

My friend Ryan mentioned pillaging small countries recently and I thought to myself, "Oh my gosh! That sounds like so much fun! Why don't we do that more often?" Ryan always has great ideas. I want to pillage. And I want to wear a cool Viking warrior outfit and swing a big sword around. The villagers will all cower in fear as I raze their meager huts that they call houses.

I'm filling out a financial aid form cause I've realized that I can't work as a substitute teacher, take 2 graduate classes, and still pay my bills so I have a need for financial aid. I have to put in info about my earnings for last year and I earned less than $15,000. How did I live on that?

I Hope You've Been Studying

So, everyone's been doing those friend quizzes lately. I find the basic premise of quizzing and rating your friends somewhat disturbing and unsettling. But I can't resist the urge to take the quizzes. I also can't resist the urge to make my own. But I made mine a little different, half of the questions are really easy and half of the questions are really difficult and/or random. I'm a leming, here ya go:

Where's the quiz, you ask? Yeah, because I'm fucking cursed with this stupid fucking technology it won't fucking paste into my fucking blog. It gives me a fucking message about fucking html errors. It's fucking irritating.

Go to my MySpace page and take it there. Thank you.

What is it, Girl? Timmy's stuck in a well?!

My friend Kristen lives right across the street from me. Well, not directly across I suppose. More like kiddy-corner. Is that the word? Anyways it's great for when I need to borrow something like a cup of sugar or a shrunken head. She's also a doctor so I can shuffle over when I feel sick and she'll check me out. So tonight I was sitting in the living room talking to my mother when from our front bay window I see Kristen standing at her door and waving a flashlight back and forth. I held up a hand to get my mother to stop her babbling and was like, "Oh my gosh! Kristen's on her doorstep waving a flashlight! She's in trouble!" I was already up and off the couch by the end of the statement. I ran to our front door and threw it open. Then I yelled out across the street, "Kristen! Kristen, are you okay?" She yelled back that she was fine. She was simply signaling to somebody who was coming over to her house and didn't know which one it was. It was a bit of a letdown. It's obvious though that Kristen and I need some sort of "I'm in danger" signal. We also need a "there's an incredibly hot guy in my house right now and he has a brother" signal. I just hope we get to use it.

Games and Mexicali Dip

I'd really like to write a post but I have nothing to write about. I suppose I could tell you about my NYE. I went to a house party in Woodhaven. I know! I didn't think people actually lived in Woodhaven either but there's houses and everything! I drove out with Beckie, Sarah, and Jaimie (sp?). I don't know how to spell her name but she has cool lips so I think I'll call her Hot Lips from now on. I'm a little bummed because some members of the Eastside Contingent have lost their single status. I like the thought of us as four hot single chicks like the women of Sex and the City. I wonder who I would be. Probably a mixture of Charlotte and Samantha. One Eastside Contingent member got a profession of love when the ball dropped on NYE. She later threw up but I think that had to do more with mucho alcohol consumptioni rather than with professions of love. We played Scattergories throughout the night. That game is really hard when you've been drinking. Some people were playing a card game called Higher/Lower or something and it usually involved about 4-7 shots. I refused to play. I also refused to drink crappy champagne so I brought 2 bottles of Korbel for myself and others with more sophisticated tastes. 655t7y6 That was Guinevere walking over the keyboard. She always feels the need to put her two cents in. But back to NYE, I passed out on my air mattress sometime after 4am. The next morning I woke up and reached for my cup of water which was on the table to my right and took a big gulp. Then I looked behind me and Hot Lips and Beckie were sitting up and staring at me. So we packed up and went home. I laid on the couch and watched the Monk marathon for most of New Year's Day.