New Territory

I'm going camping this weekend. I'm really nervous about it. The Wixom Vixen is not really the camping type. I'm much more comfortable sipping a Mimosa while lounging poolside at a 4-star hotel. But Sarah, Jackie, and Ryan are going and I want to spend time with them. So I'm trying to put aside my camping phobias and get excited about this new adventure. There are all these foreign and strange concepts that are involved in camping. We sleep in a tent in sleeping bags (perish the thought). There are bugs which require spraying yourself to repel them. You have to cook all your food. I need "shower shoes". Okay, I'm having trouble breathing so I'm going to start thinking about something else. Like beer. And cheese sticks. And butterflies. Ahh, better now.

Conversation Partner

I talk to my cats. And not just cutesy baby talk but normal voice talking and conversations. A lot of times when I come home one or both of the cats will be in the driveway wanting to go inside with me. So the other day I pull into the driveway and I see Guinevere as I'm getting out of the car. So I'm like "Do you wanna go inside Sweetie?" But I had to get something out of the other side of the car and I felt the need to explain this to her so I say the following to her, "Okay, just a minute, Gwennie. I have to get something out of the car. Remember that wedding that I went to this past weekend? Well, I wasn't sure which skirt I was going to wear so I brought both and then a couple of different tops and I forgot to take them out of the car earlier. I ended up wearing the black and white one with the flowers. I always get compliments when I wear that one. As for the wedding, it was-" At that point I had closed the car door and was turning to head down the driveway to the side door when I realized there was a person standing in the next door driveway staring at me with this quizzical expression. So I smiled and muttered a little "hi" and headed down the driveway. As I was walking I whispered to Gwennie, "Why didn't you tell me that someone was there?"

Check, 1, 2...Check

I have a few more songs that I'd like on a CD so I figured I would just repost the list of songs that I would LOVE someone to put on a CD for me. The new songs have asterisks. Okay, great! Thanks!

Forever Young - Alphaville
Beautiful - James Blunt
Cool - Gwen Stefani
Love and Memories - OAR
Alive - Love and Rockets
Hey, Mister - Custom
Creep - Radiohead
All for You - Sister Hazel
Angel Eyes - Jeff Healy Band
Breathe - Anna Nalick
Wonderful - Adam Ant
Alone - Heart
Break My Stride - ?matthew wilder
To Be With You - Mr. Big
Rocket Man - Elton John
Doctor My Eyes - Jackson Browne
One More Try - Timmy T
*Crazy - Narles Barkley
*Oh, Sherry - Steve Perry
*Modern Love - David Bowie

Any other songs you think I would like

Make Me Some Pancakes

The beginning of this week was quite action packed for a Monday and Tuesday. Monday night I went to dinner in Mexicantown with Mike, Austin, Julon, and Dan. It was the idea of yours truly but it turns out that I should call people and not just send an email out 2 hours before the event cause people didn't know we were going to dinner until later and missed it. Then we went to the Tap Room. Well, except Austin, Julie, and John went home cause they're lame. Okay, they're not lame just responsible. They kept mentioning this odd concept of "work" and saying they had to get up early. Blah, blah, blah. Good thing I'm not working and instead living a life of leisure. It pays zilch but it's great for partying every night. Anyhoo, we went to the Tap Room after dinner and were joined by Coronado. Then I called Young Catechist and he was just getting off work. So he and his roommate came and joined us at the bar. The boys were playing darts at the Tap Room but we eventually moved to O'Flaherty's where there was pool and I was actually expected to play. I'm so used to the Tap Room set up where the boys play darts and I sit at the table and scan the bar for new victims. It was very disconcerting at first to be expected to join in the activity. I didn't do very well at pool but I had a few awesome shots. It was basically 4 bad shots followed by an amazing shot and then bad shots again. I almost forgot - Mike didn't come to O'Flaherty's. He too started talking about this "work" thing. And the Young Catechist's roommate got mad at one point and left O'Flaherty's in a huff. After we got kicked out of the bar, the group now consisting of me, Dan, Coronado, and Young Catechist walked to Young Catechist's place and hung out in his backyard. Then Dan informed me that he was wasn't able to move and couldn't take me home. So Coronado and I walked back to the Tap Room parking lot to pick up his car and then he drove me home. I vaguely remember glancing at the clock as I dropped into my bed and I think it read 4:36. I didn't wake up the next morning until 12:30. Oh wait, that actually means it was the next afternoon. I feel like I'm 22 again.

Hot Rod

The phone rang a little bit ago. When I looked at the caller id it said, "Kemp, Klein, Ump" which is my dad's law firm. Well, it's actually Kemp, Klein, Umphrey, Endelman, & May but that doesn't fit on the caller id screen. Instead of summarizing the conversation I'm just going to provide you with the transcript with notes at certain points.

Joeboo: Jessica, it's your father, Joe (last name). Is your mother around?
(this was at around 11:30 and he knows that my mother works so it was very odd that he was looking for her at home)
Wixom Vixen: Umm, no. I'm pretty sure she's at work.
Joeboo: Okay, I was trying to call AAA this morning and accidentally called her and then she had called my office looking for me.
Wixom Vixen: Oh.
Joeboo: If you talk to her tell that I'm okay. My car caught on fire but it's at the dealership and I've got another car.
Wixom Vixen: Holy Shit! Your car caught on fire?! How did that happen?
Joeboo: Well, basically you shouldn't play with your crack pipe while driving. That's the lesson to be learned.
WV: I'll remember that the next time I'm tempted to smoke crack.
J: They don't know right now what it was, it might be a broken power steering line.
WV: Aw man, dad. Your new car.
J: I know! The car with less that 2500 miles. (sad sigh)
WV: Wow. Bummer.
J: Anyways, I have to get back to work. Just tell your mother that I'm okay if you talk to her.
WV: Will do. Bye.
J: Bye.

On Saturday my father wiped out while riding his bike and it was in front of a house with all this construction so he fell on gravel. He had big ugly-looking cuts and scrapes all over his right arm and leg yesterday at Family Dinner. The guy seems to be having a bad week. But at least he can still make jokes about smoking crack.

Ice Princess

Holy crap. What was up with my last post? It was all sappy and sentimental. The other day I was at the card store with my 12 year-old charge and we were looking at Father's Day cards. There was another woman in the aisle who looked very proper and mom-ish. So I kept saying my comments on the cards very loudly so she was sure to hear. I would say stuff like, "Gawd. These cards are terrible. They're all mushy and sappy and filled with loving compliments. I'm going to barf." and then I made gagging noises. When I finally found the card I bought I said to my charge, "This card is great. It's funny and doesn't have any of that 'I love you' or 'you're the best father' shi-...uh, crap." I think I saw the mother figure give me a few sideways glances.

Traveling Companion

I'm listening to Jim Croce right now. Some of his songs make me think of my father and the road trips that we used to take. After my parents got divorced we (Joeboo, Miguel, and I) would take vacations and we always drove to the destination which meant long hours in the car. I always sat up front cause Miguel sat in back and slept or read so he didn't get carsick. I liked sitting up front and chatting with my dad. I felt like I was important. And then sometimes he would put in music and sing along and I'd try to learn the words so I could sing along too. Jim Croce was one of his favorites. He liked Paul Simon and James Taylor too. I think even then I was trying to impress him so that he would like me. Being in the car with my dad are some of my happiest memories.

Dirty Computer

Why is it that whenever I hit "next blog" it's some kind of freaky sexual thing? Last time it was the Easter Bunny getting action and this time it was some couple in Michigan who are looking for swingers. There were pictures. Sheesh.

So Many Men...Only One Wixom Vixen

I have so much stuff to post. I'll start with Ryan's party on Saturday. I have to give many props to Jackie for driving us. Especially since I fell asleep (or passed out, whatever) on the way home and she had to entertain herself for the long drive. And then she let me crash on their couch for the night. The party was a fabulous good time. We started off at Ryan's place and then went to this really fun bar. I was so excited cause the bartender knew what I meant when I said that I wanted a Cape Codder with a splash of 7-Up. I had a few of those and a few Red-Headed Sluts. They played awesome music for dancing. I like watching Austin dance. I tried to keep up with him at one point but he's a dancin' fool. And speaking of Austin, at the beginning of the night he asks me, "So, what's up with you and Ari?" And so I was all, "What do you mean 'what's up with me and Ari?" And he said that he had heard some things and so I broke down and told him that I'm pregnant with his love child. I don't know how he found out. I thought Ari and I were being so good at keeping our secret. Then he mentioned a love triangle and I was all, "Gawd, I wish that I was involved in a love triangle with 2 cute boys. It would be my ultimate fantasy come true" Darn Austin, getting my hopes up like that. I should sic Raffi on him.

*Added after original post*
I think that I had many interesting conversations on Saturday but I can't seem to recall all of them. Jackie and I decided that her, me, Beckie, and Sarah are going to be the Fanta girls for Halloween so tape the commercial for us if you see it.

Don't You Wanna?

I skipped the Race for the Cure this morning. I was trying to think of ways to get out of and when I got to the point where I was considering purposely crashing my car on the way downtown I figured I should just skip it and not worry about it. I mean, why can't I frickin' give money and have that be enough? Yeah, it's terrible that my family friend had breast cancer and a masectomy but why do I have to do stuff that I hate to show support? I already paid the money so I feel as I did my part. I didn't even call and tell her. She probably thinks I'm an inconsiderate bitch now but sometimes I have to think about what's best for me.

I am going to Ryan's party today. I was just in a crap mood last night. But it totally sucks that both Sarah and Beckie aren't going. And I don't have to worry about looking fat cause it's just my friends and a bunch of gay dudes and they don't care about my jiggly belly. When I last babysat my little sister we played a new game where we "poke Sissy's belly and watch it jiggle".

I have that Fanta song in my head and I'm trying to remember which girl I was. Sarah, Jackie, Beckie and I were watching the commercial once and all chose girls to be but I can't remember who's who.

I hung out with Kristen last night. Now that is a girl who is having a crap week. Actually a crap year. She gets cancer, has to have a surgery and now has a big scar on her neck, her Dad dies, she's getting into legal battles with her landlady. And then this week she pulled a ligament in her ankle and a piece of ceiling at the hospital fell on her head and she has a cut on her forehead. And she just keeps plugging along.

Non-Acetone

I'm doing the Race for the Cure thing tomorrow morning. I really, really, REALLY don't want to do it. I hate downtown. I hate parking downtown. I hate crowds. And I hate physical activity. That doesn't involve a cute boy that is. Then tomorrow night I'm supposed to go to Ryan's party. I think it's a Barmitzvah. But I dont' even feel like going to that. It'll just be an hour of trying on outfits and realizing that I look fat in all of them. And then hanging out and having a fabulous time with people that I like hanging out with followed by weeks of rejection. I mean if I don't go then I won't have to remember "the good times" when people wanted to hang out with me. It's that theory that if you don't know about something then you can't miss it, you know?

Reading is Fundamental

I had an awesome subbing job today. Fraser has block scheduling so there are 4 90-minute classes each day and they switch between blue and gold days. So today was a gold day and the teacher I was covering team teaches her 2nd block and the other teachers were like, "You don't have to stay." So I went back to her classroom and chose one of the books to read (she's an English teacher). I chose "Witch of Blackbird Pond" and got to read with no distractions for an hour and a half. Then 4th block is seminar which is pretty much a study hall. So all I had to do was take attendance and sign agendas when students wanted to leave. I was about 3/4 of the way done with the book by the beginning of 6th block. And she just had them reading a short story and working on worksheets for that period. So I just had to pass the stuff out and make sure they didn't try to kill each other or jump out the window for the whole class. I actually got annoyed when I would have to walk around the class to keep order cause I was really into the book. I finished the book about 10 minutes before the end of class. Her 8th block was her prep period and I was finished! I got to leave and go home at 12:45 pm. If you get a chance I suggest reading "Witch of Blackbird Pond". It was really good.